Not...Yet.

Thanks to Teespring for this shirt that keeps popping up on my Facebook feed. Folks that know me know that I’ve been lured into buying novel t-shirts quite a bit this year. I’ve managed to resist this one, but I do have a story to tell about it.

Through some strange alignment of my chakras or planets or something, I’ve actually started to get in pretty good shape this year. I’ve have Type 1 Diabetes since 1994 and given birth to 2 amazing boys so I’ve had my share of food regimes and drives to keep moving, but this is different. I’ve actually started running.

I never thought I’d be able to stay on a treadmill for 3 miles.  I’m still working on *really* running- you know- on paths. In sunlight. Up hills you can’t hit a button to reduce the incline on. But when I first started a Couch to 5K program, this t-shirt’s message screamed “YES!!!!” to me. I honestly didn’t think I would be able to finish my goal. I sat and read through much of my childhood. I had tried this running thing once before as an adult and ended up with shin splints that shut me down completely. I’m in my 40s- I deserve to kick back and relax for a while, right?

Sometimes, life is like that. Sometimes, it really does hurt all over and you can’t do it. What if it’s just that you’re meant to do something else instead? Perhaps it’s just not time for this goal...yet.

I’ve juggled these pins (my mind, my body, my food, my insulin, my exercise) countless times already. They have been both my guardians and my demons over the years. I’ve cursed each and every one of them at some point. Right now, we’re all agreeing to follow a common contract- I can’t pinpoint a specific part of the puzzle that sealed the deal. I’d like to think my boys in BigBang might have been part of it. Lol! I’m just grateful and hoping we can all just keep getting along as we are for a good long while.

We each face obstacles along the way. Some return again and again. We can’t give up but we can cut ourselves some slack when a goal pulls away from our reach- when it hurts all over and we feel like dying. Life might be telling us to go somewhere else and do something else first. What might happen if we’re open to “Not...Yet”?