Highs and Lows

This poem started off as just a general look at those times when we feel stupid and chide ourselves for it. I’ve seen so many people recently who seem to be really struggling with self-doubt and fear. Then, a rap-like beat developed in my head. Finally, the words turned very personal. I have Type 1 Diabetes and that requires daily work to maintain my health. I saw the doubt and fear in my own self and feel good for voicing it- I think this poem could apply to anyone. We go down but we can come up again.

UPDATE: I couldn't resist coming back and editing this- clearly needed to sit a bit for editing. 12/19/2016.

Highs and Lows

Cold clenching, heart racing

Running down the hall in silent desperation.

I feel the fool

But must go on

It’s a sweat-soaked, surreal nasty situation.

There is blood, all day long now.

I have to read it, know it and then try to follow it.

I know we all

Have a burden

But there are times this load so overwhelms me.

This pain is, what I feel

Why can’t I slice this urge to be like everybody else?

I cannot lie

It’s so hard

Sometimes my mind screams in endless frustration.

I flash a grin, I wink my eye.

But then the walls rise up without a warning.

Times are tough

All around me

I try to be upbeat but man, it wants to kill me.

Take a breath, slow it down

There are things I need to take care of.

I go to bed

I close my eyes

And seek the warmth of dreams and the sun's rise.