I saw this meme on a friend’s page and initially, I simply laughed and agreed with it. Then I realized something: running outside barefoot shouldn’t be associated with any particular gender.
Give me 100 random young people, with shoes, barefoot, or even without feet, between the ages of 4 and 9. Put them in an outdoor setting- trees, rocks, dirt, grass, flowering plants, sunshine, insects, wind- the whole nature thing.
Some of those kids will, and should, immediately start exploring.
Some of those kids will, and should, hesitate at first but eventually begin to explore.
Some of those kids will, and should, remain still.
Some of those kids will, and should, feel so shocked or overwhelmed they may start crying, getting angry, huddling up, trying to escape, hitting themselves or others, or having some other reaction as equally energetic as the kids in the first group but in the opposite direction- away from the new stimuli.
Among these four groups, some children will, and should, engage with others, while some will, and should, prefer to do things alone. Some will start in one way and end up choosing another.
None of these children are wrong. I used the phrase “will, and should,” on purpose.
As adults, we don’t all react to the outdoors the same way, and neither will our children. What we MUST do is adapt our approaches to each child’s response. If the moment feels right, we can offer a “stretch” action to try something else. That’s part of the amazing art of teaching others.
The first response needs help with safety; they cannot just act on their impulses. Their exuberance needs to be tempered with an understanding of cause and effect and the interconnectedness of everything. They need to learn that their volume and energy can negatively impact others (including other species), so if an adult suggests they adjust their behavior, there’s a good reason: everyone and everything deserves a place to thrive.
The second and third responses need time and space to adjust. As adults, we can offer them suggestions, but often, simply providing a safe zone for observing is enough. Their experience may not seem “enough” to others (both peers and adults may be tempted to think so), but it can be enough for them. We can gently test the waters with these children, sharing our observations or questions to draw them into the situation a bit more. But again, it’s more about providing a safe place for what each kid needs to and can experience. Sitting with a friend telling stories may be just what they need, and that’s a valid and beautiful thing.
The fourth response is likely feeling completely unsafe and/or overwhelmed. Adults need to focus on ways they can reduce those sensations and perceptions. Kids reacting in these ways may need a vast reduction in what’s coming into their brains and bodies until they can reach a level of control and calm that will allow them to try again.
It’s vital for us adults to understand that moving from one response to another is entirely normal. A young person in the first response group may shift to the third, or even the fourth. They may start alone in the first and end in a circle in the third.
None of these kids are “bad”.
None of these kids are “good”.
I never mentioned gender, age, or religion.
I never called out any of these kids on appearance, physical or academic abilities, or who their parents are.
They are all just kids. Each beautiful in their own way.
I'll also suggest that what I describe here about children in nature should be things we apply to our adult lives in our daily lives. <3
